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In My Defense

I've been following the comments on this blog as well as our IMDB board and noticed that some people have gotten it in their head that somehow I orchestrated this controversy from the start. If you don’t mind, I’d like to offer the following thoughts in my defense:

1. I'm not that clever. You have to keep in mind that when I came to explain the projection error after the screening, I thought it was hilarious. Of course, the one moment to be missing was a scene featuring Katie in the act. I made reference to it in jest. It wasn't 'til 48 hours later that the press suddenly decided to make a story out of this.

2. Anyone looking for some action will be very disappointed by the twelve seconds at the end of reel two. There is no nudity. It's not even remotely sexual. It's a comedic moment with some humping in the background that is undercut by humorous voice over. If I really made this all up, I’d only be setting people up for disappointment.

3. I don't have access to the print. I know this sounds ridiculous, but in the modern era of piracy, the studio keeps enormous security around the print. An armed guard from Fox arrives with the print one hour before the screening and sits in the projection booth throughout the show. Then promptly returns it to Fox. It would take Oceans 11 to hijack the reel.

Most importantly, I really like Katie. She’s just a sweetheart and was nothing but professional and lovely on set. I couldn’t be happier with her performance and I’m thrilled to have her in the film. It kills me every time she gets crucified in the press and I’d never want to add to that muck.

My problem is that what we’re dealing with is a mundane projection issue due to a cut to black that occurs between the reel change marks. It’s the truth and it sounds like a lie.

Anyhow, if you feel like promoting further rumors, knock yourself out. I suppose it only provides more publicity for the film and more importantly, I find it incredibly entertaining….

In fact, please submit the most outlandish version of events you can come up with to this blog in the comments section. Astound me with your conspiracy theories. I’ve certainly heard some interesting ones over the last few days. Would love to hear what you can come up with.

January 26, 2006 | Permalink

Comments

Well,. since you said PLEASE!!,. and LIKE to be entertained by the conspiracy theoriesn then:

Yes, you took it out yourself, becuase you did not want to start any bad vibe with the Mormens of UTAH, becuase they have weird censorship standards when it comes to sex, and they are very rich. So at the risk of not getting any more quiet and well paying propaganda films from the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day saints, you decided that you could spin this in your favor, by staging some sort of conspiracy, and asking some of your many extras and crew mates to play buzz-marketers and put up a big fuss when the scene arrived that no-one knew was supposed to be there anyway, except those who knew it was in the first place. Sounds like something I'd do :) If I wasn't a lame software engineer at the moment. Who needs to talk to himself becuase his co-workers are all playing video games.

OR hey, here's a good one:

Actually, what happened is that the Church of Jesus Christ in UTAH has actually been bought out by the Church of Scientology in LA. That was how tom cruise was able to remotly stage the dynamic alteration of the film real, in order to protect the reputation of his beautiful "Wife?". And that's ok, becuase she's really cute and nice. Actually I really like the public image that Tom Cruise has, I don't like it when people make fun of him, most of the movies that I've seen him in are all really good, I think. (Born on the 4th, Minority Report) I like how he does a lot of Sci-Fi these days. It takes some of the geekyness out of sci-fi.

Let me know if you want any more conspiracies about L-Ron hubbard or The morman's bible service patch.

I hate to poke fun at religeon actually, but someone one presented the morman religeion to me in the form of a computer flow chart, he made it seem like God needed a bug-fix update release to the bible, so he send down Bible V1.1 to fix some of the bugs he had in the first version,. oh well.

Posted by: Rhys Hovey | January 26, 2006 at 05:50 PM

Oh,.. I got another conspiracy theory for you.

You see what happened, was that the cigarette companies paid you to put the sex scene in the movie so you would get an R or A rating. So that the kids that they are trying to teach to smoke would not be able to get into the movie, so it would raise the probability that they would not be able to recognize the pro-cigarette propaganda as early in life, but you simply were not allowed to play it in UTAH. Becuase of the Mormens. But I don't have time to look into the other movies to see if there was any sex in them.

The mormens being pissed of Mel Gibson for violating Bible Service relase code 57.9 by portraying Jesus on film, planned to Sabotage the movie, but it violeted the 7th commandment (turning the other cheek) but they did find a loophold in the old testament, that enabled them to,.. just take out the sex scene. Then no-one would go to hell, well except Mel Gibson, who was paid quite hansomly by the cigarette companies to make this propaganda movie that diverts your attention away from the fact that cigarettes are actually advertsied on the streets in a peer-peer presure kind of way.

Posted by: Rhys Hovey | January 26, 2006 at 06:10 PM

Im so excited to see this movie.I-CANNOT-WAIT!
This has been getting a lot of raves and who cares about the media and bandwagon viewers because no matter what they'll come up with their story versions.
As for Katie Holmes,I admire her greatly as an actress and person. She remains real and has that lovely down home flavor. All this TYFS buzz even reached some Batman Begins forums.
Good luck to you!

Posted by: Mia | January 27, 2006 at 12:41 AM

I really thought this is just another free PR stunt you're pulling after much ballyhooed this film is getting now because of Kate Holmes but now reading your take changed my perception.
Besides many folks who have brains can easily figure what how dirty the press can be especially nowadays.

Nevertheless I wish you continued success and you have my support for this movie. Like Tom,I would be jumping in the couch too if I have Kate Holmes.

Posted by: Will | January 28, 2006 at 01:14 PM

Jason,

I just hope that people go see the movie. I saw it in Toronto at the Ryerson Theatre and loved it. I'd hate to think that anyone would skip it because of this "dispute."

Posted by: Comfort Addict | January 28, 2006 at 03:07 PM

I just want to stop in and say that I stumbled onto the trailer of TYFS about two days ago and have fallen in love with it.

Good luck to you while at Sundance!

Posted by: Brian Carroll | January 29, 2006 at 01:43 PM

Hmmmm...a theory.

While the movie was being transported the guards carrying it came a cross Tom Cruise. Being star struck they asked for his autograph, only to have Chris Klein come out of the shadows. Drunk out of his mind, and carrying a samurai sword in his arms he lunged for the reel. Tom, being Tom Cruise, wrestled the sword away, knocked Mr. Klein out and dressed the wounds of the guards who tried to defend him.

It wasn't until then that the group realized the movie had been damaged in all the chaos. Thankfully Ang Lee came upon the scene, pulled out a bottle of Super Glue and crafted it back together, though in such a rush didn't notice the piece of movie film fluttering away from them in the wind.

Sadly, Katie's sex scene was left cut-up on the ground, soaking in the slushy snow of the streets. It's Sundance dreams never fulfilled.

How you like them apples?

Thanks for defending the great Katie Holmes, glad I'm not the only one sick of all this bullsh*t.

Can't wait to see the movie!

Posted by: Shauna | January 30, 2006 at 09:51 AM

I am so angry with the press for the way they have been treating Tom and Katie. IS it so tough for people to believe that fanous people can be happy. Thank you for your defense of a wonderful and what seems to be a nice and talented actress.

Posted by: Steven | February 01, 2006 at 11:34 AM

See what I think happened was this:

We all know Katie's Alien baby is an attention hog; always shape shifting inside Katie's belly making people believe she's not pregnant JUST so he can have more photo ops...

ANYWAY, Tom was jealous and didn't want his unborn child to be more popular than chocolate and had Xenu destroy the footage for him.

Little does Tom know though that the fetus is now SO enraged that in Stewie Griffin Fashion is planning his father's demise immediately after birth...and cleanup...and hours later since I doubt Cruise will want to be there to witness his child's birth since it would mean seeing a woman's vag...:)

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