Just realized something over the last few days… Journalists are reading my blog. This means two things of course: 1. They’re hearing all my bitching about getting asked the same question over and over which of course is no fault of theirs. 2. I have nothing to tell them when they arrive, because they’ve already read the majority of my answers here. Literally… in the last two days, I’ve had reporters say, “Yeah, I already read that answer on your blog… Can you give me something new?” A new answer - To the same question. They’re asking me to be two-faced.
Monday was my press day in Miami. Did a local morning radio show and got to share the air with Danica Patrick (Indy race car driver… Look her up. It’s worth it.) She’s about five feet tall and drives around two hundred thirty miles an hour for a living. She’s the best thing to happen to racing since they made that movie “3”. Love that thing. That said, I was in the studio and she called in.
Got finished up in Miami that afternoon and flew to DC. I landed at Reagan around 8pm. Got in the car, changed into a suit and tie and arrived at the Metropolitan Club around 8:15pm for an evening of politicos. I started my morning by talking to an Indy race queen who boasts getting pedicures before each race and finished the evening by dining next to Chris Matthews. How did I get here again? Oh, that’s right. I made a movie.
The dinner was out of control. The Metropolitan club is old world DC. Fifteen foot ceiling in a solid wood dining room. The table was arranged in a giant “U”… Like a UN summit. The first guy to congratulate me on my film… John McLaughlin. The last guy to congratulate me… William Cohen, (Secretary of Defense under Clinton).
The dinner began with a speech by Christopher Hitchens (Political satirist… Look him up. It’s worth it.) He did about fifteen minutes off the cuff. It was brilliant. Hilarious, touching, politically biting. I should have brought a dictionary. Moments after he finished, Chris Buckley got up and spoke. He’s even better. Complete command over the room and the English language. Then Chris Matthews spoke (completing the triumvirate of Christopher’s). He of course was brash, topical, and hilarious.
Then something happened… Everyone turned to me. They were expecting me to speak. Are you fucking kidding me? Buckley gave me a little look, meaning – I believe it’s your turn, lad. Gulp.
I stood up and took a deep breath and said, “I have no business standing in this room. I listen to these men speak and forget that I speak English.” Laughter – Good. “I went on about how because of this film, people actually think I’m political. They think I have an opinion worth listening to. And that can only be attributed to Christopher Buckley. He gave me my satirical voice and in doing so, gave me my career.” Big applause. I thanked them for hosting the dinner and told them I’d never forget the evening… Then I told them to find me on MySpace and friend me.
Got to sleep a little after midnight. Woke up at 4am for a flight to Toronto. Arrived around 8am. Went straight into press all day long, followed by a screening, and a 10pm phone interview. Then, I slept the sleep of blood-drenched warriors after battle.